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Before God led me to find a godly husband and return the gift of singleness, I was a Christian single woman over the age of 30 who wanted to be married. Yet, I was doing everything correctly, according to Christian courtship books. I was single, satisfied, and waiting on the Lord. I was content in my singleness and very happy the great majority of the time, with only occasional bouts of loneliness. My source of significance and meaning was found in the Lord. I loved God and was in the Word. My closest friends were very sanctified Christians, and I was involved in various ministries.

Why is it so hard to date African Religious Women?

I am well versed in religion, various cultures, and world politics. In Christianity, as well as many other religions, over-spiritualizing is when scriptural interpretation exceeds its original meanings or when an event or action is overcompensated with implications that God, the Holy Spirit, or Jesus had orchestrated it. This mentality can be used in the meekest of situations all the way to the most complicated, and although many things can be justified as spiritual or influenced spiritually, it does not automatically mean that everything is spiritual nor does it mean that God is the puppeteer behind all events and actions on earth.

This is the approach by a lot of Christians, though. The worldview of these Christians is that everything is connected in a big spiritual webbing, and even if you are not a spiritual person yourself, you still fit into the webbing somewhere with hopes that you will migrate towards the middle where you will know God more intimately. However, this mentality can be toxic for various reasons.

I one conclusion I settled on is that it is a little harder to date African religious women because they tend to over-spiritualize everything. One of my x-girlfriends​.

This blog post and the following comments at Conversion Diary got me thinking recently. Single-and-searching folks ask this question a lot it’s one I sure wondered about! I personally take the perspective that there is no “one” for you. No “soul mate” God certainly knits the two together in a very beautiful way after the vows. But that’s something to explore more deeply on another day.

I am more interested in the method of discernment. We all want answers right? I know as a single woman, I wanted a formula, a sure-fire way to figure out how to decide if I should marry a person. It’s a huge, scary decision. I noticed in reading comments that people often discern using their natural strengths and bent. I think we need to remember that, just as anything else in life, what worked for me may not work for another.

Why Christian Women Need to Stop Over Spiritualizing Dating and Relationships

Pexels Single Christians try their best to get this dating thing right, but inevitably one Christian camp says it has to be done this way, another says it has to be done that way, and yet another ends up saying that Christians shouldn’t date at all. It can all end up a little confusing and as if finding your perfect mate for life wasn’t hard enough, there are some unhelpful ideas out there can even make the Christian dating process stressful, when it should really be a time of great excitement and enjoyment as you seek to work out God’s will with another human being.

Because we’re so careful to make sure the person we date will be the one we will walk down the aisle with, we can end up putting dating on too high a pedestal. While purity and sexuality should definitely be reserved, there is more than enough room for us to go on group or even safe one-on-one dates to get to know other people of the opposite sex more before deciding to take it to the next level. The second date, talk about each other’s families.

You can only hold hands after the twenty-seventh date.

Regarding confirmation from God I believe that’s all false. I think there’s over-​spiritualizing of the ‘asking out’ and ‘dating‘ process, especially with.

If you have been doing your spiritual work, and you are over 30, you probably don’t want to go to bars. You probably don’t ever want to go on another date. The idea of a soulmate sounds really good. So you begin your quest to find your spiritual partner. Some of the lucky ones meet someone right away. Good karma.

Others find a whole new set of problems that repeat themselves in the “spiritual dating scene” or lack of one. First off, for the women, “Where are all the freakin’ men?? For the few men that do go to these events, “Look at all these open women, and I am their only option!!

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Culture over-romanticizes the idea of ‘the one’ and Christians over-spiritualize it Tweet. I’ll address the dating issue since that is relevant to this site. When we say we are seeking the partner that God has for us, what does that.

How do I start? I used to spend hours in Barnes and Nobles as a middle schooler reading teen romance novels, and was most definitely given the book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” once I hit mid highschool. This is from Christian men, might I add. Now, I later asked the men how many of them had received near nude photos of women in an attempt to ‘draw them in’ This is dating in – time to be real. The internet is full of ways to manipulate the other sex through social media and yet we sit in our church groups pretending like our biggest struggle is not having sex before marriage.

There’s a much bigger problem.

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Post a Comment. Friday, August 19, Do we over spiritualize dating? There has been a lot of verbiage tossed about regarding how we are to approach our singleness and dating.

My friend, who has recently left a very strict traditionalist church that loves to over-​spiritualize everything, shall not be named for his safety and.

I feel the problem lies not in spiritualizing the dates, but with yourself as a person. I am sure God wants us to involve him in all aspects of our lives, and that is what you are doing, but are you also depending on the instincts, feelings and wisdom that God gave you to make your decisions? One must take risks in this life, and you will never fully live life to the fullest if you overprotect yourself. The truth of the matter is that it is the ones whom you love the most that will hurt you, but you will only become stronger if you learn to overcome the hurt and continue to love.

Jesus loves us dearly and each day we hurt him, but it never stops him from loving us back the very next minute I will suggest that this year you challenge yourself and do something different and daring! Continue to pray about every person you meet and every step of the process, but go on as many dates as possible, even when you are scared to do so! Go on double dates with your girlfriends if it makes you feel comfortable. I am also an old fashioned person, but reading the book of Ruth gave me another perspective: she strategically placed herself in a position where she could be selected to be married by Boaz She didn’t throw herself at him as you think you may be doing if you put yourself out I hope I made some sense.

I admire your courage to keep up with God every step of the way I know He will answer you soon! Your Ruth example is a great one writeforsanitysake!

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C hristians have this habit of letting God take the blame for their dirty work when it comes to the end of dating relationships. And as sincere as I believe she was when she broke up with me, it kind of made me mad that she used The Creator as a scapegoat for what she actually wanted. Maybe you are feeling that the Lord is leading you away from your boyfriend or girlfriend, but remember, communication is an art that must be crafted carefully in all circumstances.

God may, in fact, be leading you in a different direction, but is that really something your ex needs to hear at this exact moment?

Christians have this habit of letting God take the blame for their dirty work when it comes to the end of dating relationships. Many Christian.

By registering, you agree to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email. I have dated both Christian and Muslim women. I one conclusion I settled on is that it is a little harder to date African religious women because they tend to over-spiritualize everything.

One of my x-girlfriends would quote a verse for everything I said. At first, this was interesting but it soon became too much. I understood her but sometimes I just wanted to be in the embrace of the woman who I love.

Do we over-spiritualize decisions?

The Bridge Chicago. That my value and first love should be Jesus and I should be content with a relationship with Him. And I get all that but I how do I actually do it? How do I actually find my identity in Christ? If you want a relationship because you only define yourself in relation to the person you are dating, then finding identity in Christ is the primary issue in your situation. If you want a relationship because you are a normal person with needs and desires that have been given to you by God, then the main problem here is that the people who are giving you advice really suck at giving advice.

I ask this because a few of my friends say that I over spiritualize every aspect of meeting a guy/dating and perhaps this is why i’m still single.

While some people enjoy finding ways around this, it is clear that the Bible forbids sex before marriage. Both partners should take responsibility for setting limits. Make sure that the message you send with your actions doesn’t attract people who will lead you to compromise your values. My friend has a great relationship with her husband because they get to bond over their shared love of religion and worship. This is certainly understandable, as dating can have traumatic results in unhealthy circumstances.

Think of the traits that are important in any relationship like honesty and trust, and they apply to your friends. Christian Dating App Launched in , was one of the first online dating apps ever. There are all kinds of advice out there about dating today, but a lot of it is about dating in the world rather than.

Christians need to have a different attitude toward dating.

How Do You Know He’s “The One”?

Q: How do you deal with people who say that God is speaking to them about the relationship? I believe God does speak to us but can this sometimes be an over spiritualistic way of avoiding making a decision? Whoever submitted it clearly has a wise and perceptive heart. Out of all the excuses we make and then blame on God, I think this one is the absolute worst.

Please sign and date your posts by typing four tildes (~~~~). 5 Over-​spiritualization; 6 Moderate Amillenialism Vs. Strong Amillenialism; 7 B.B. Warfield.

Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. It is a subject most in the church stay away from. It is not often discussed in mixed company and is usually hidden away even though it remains in plain sight.

I used to go every year to a Men’s Convention with my old church and after two years the organizer asked what I thought. I responded that it would be nice if they acknowledged that single Christians exist.

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It never really was. Then it came back with a dangerous vengeance, along with the guilt and shame of not being able to conquer it. This is not directed towards anyone in particular, especially my loved ones.

to really pray, know their hearts, and listen to God when they decide to date. Why Christian Women Need to Stop Over Spiritualizing Dating and Relationships​.

I’ve been a participant in a Lausanne gathering in the past. I haven’t been part of a Lausanne gathering, but follow Lausanne’s activity. I’m not very familiar with the Lausanne Movement. The reality of spiritual conflict in our world is a given to those who believe the Bible, but sometimes those who are convinced of the reality of spiritual conflict deny or minimize the reality of psychological and psychiatric illness.

Often Christians suffering from psychological or psychiatric illness have been treated as if they were demonized. Those who had demonic problems in addition to their psychological and psychiatric illness, often get their demonic issues attended to and not their psychological and psychiatric illness. This paper is an attempt to balance the spiritual and the natural needs of man as we seek to help people with all sorts of problems.

This approach is going to be referred to in this paper as Holistic. In Isa. It included meeting other needs that people had. To those who believe the Bible, the reality of Evil spiritual forces is undisputed both Old and New Testament.

Why Christian Women Need to Stop Over Spiritualizing Dating and Relationships